Breathing, Trust, and Letting Go....

At the beginning of March when I was checking in with my Dr. on my progress towards a healthier life, both mentally and physically, she suggested that I start going to Yoga. I'll admit I heard that with mixed emotions... I have so many friends who practice Yoga and LOVE it.... but it was not anything I thought I could ever do. So I looked up Yoga Studios in the area and found that there was a new one opening ten minutes from my house. After calling and talking to the manager, I decided to give it a try. So last Thursday, wearing my Yoga pants (which let's face it, have become my every day pants), I headed over for my first class.

When I entered the studio, this huge quote on the wall struck me. Not (just) because it was a large vinyl quote, but it is exactly what I need to do. I need to learn how to breathe. I need to learn how to trust more. I definitely need to learn how to let go. And I was about to see what would happen....

A friend gave me some great advice before class. She told me to only worry about what was happening on my mat. I tried to keep that in mind throughout class. I did the best I could to follow the instructions and didn't even look to see what anyone else was doing.  I was surprised at how simple the movements seemed in theory, but how much I was sweating while holding them. I can remember the teacher saying things like "this is working our inner shoulder blade" or "here we are stretching our inner hip" and thinking I have never even thought about those muscles before. One thing is for sure... the next morning I was thinking about them!! OUCH!

I tried 4 different types of classes last week on my own, and another with my children. The more I go the more I think I am figuring out which is right for me. I'm getting more comfortable with the terminology and understanding more each time. The hardest part is turning my mind off.... although I did find today that when we were mid class, I was working so hard I was definitely lost in the movement and not thinking about anything else. That's todays victory. We will see what the next week of classes brings.....

Learning to "Lick the Beaters"

My first week unemployed has been a humbling experience in so many ways... both personally and professionally.

It started as I was making a birthday cake for my sister. (Nothing fancy, but I was whipping my own whipped cream.) As I finished up, I clicked the "beaters" out of my hand mixer and called my girls to the kitchen, just like my Mom always did "Whooooooo wants to lick the beaters???"

I will admit that in that moment I had this feelings of "Ta-da!!!", "I'm so proud I did this!", and "Yay! This is what 'good moms' (like mine) do!" 

....Only my call to the kitchen was met by no one. So I repeated it. Louder of course. "WHOOOOO wants to lick the beaters??" My oldest looked up into the kitchen and said "What's a beater?"

I know it sounds dramatic, but it was as though life stood still for a minute. My thoughts of triumph turned into "OMG they don't know what beaters are?" to "Wait, have I ever used a hand mixer" to "Wow. I am nothing like the good moms. My kids don't even know how to lick the beaters." 

So I brought them both into the kitchen, handed them each a beater (which, in my world as one of three children with 2 beaters was a privilege you fought for.) And my oldest half touched her tongue to it before discarding it in the sink because she didn't understand. Now don't panic, this was homemade whipped cream, so of course I rescued it and taught her how to try again.

What I learned in this experience was humbling.  It got me thinking... yes, this just a "beater" but what other things have I neglected to do with them that are some of my favorite childhood memories... or just things I had always hoped I would do with my own children.  For this week, we started slow...

• We baked muffins for breakfast on Sunday. Jiffy muffins, but they were muffins. 
• I went to school and read with my oldest. 
• I picked the girls up at school and took them for ice cream. 
• I actually sat with each of them while they watched their favorite tv show. Now I know this sounds silly, but I remember sitting with my parents watching Full House, and I still turn it on and feel like I'm on my couch at home. Yet while working, I never took the time....their TV time was my work time. 

My list of things I hope to do is long.... but we got a solid start. It was humbling to realize how many things I need to learn or relearn about them. I know it's not going to be easy or fast, but it's going to be worth it. What are some things you think I should add?